I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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