Did you just see the Batmobile???
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
