Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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