Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
