Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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