If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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