yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
