I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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