Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
