whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
