I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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