Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
