Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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