super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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