Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
