I just saw a hot homeless man
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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