addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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