do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
