sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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