i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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