As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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