Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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