Non-Jews are for practice
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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