I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
