it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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