They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
