Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize