lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
