I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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