We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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