We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
