Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
