Ketchup is God's man juice
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
