There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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