Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
