I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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