Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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