What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
