so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
