I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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