the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
