I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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