thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i now understand why vodka
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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