addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
