he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize