I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
