When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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