Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
