Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
