If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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