if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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