the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
