so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
