i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
