no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
