It's chlamydia! Thank God!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
