really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
