I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
