I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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